Protein Drinks Should Have More Bacon

Now I wouldn't call myself a health nut and neither would you if you knew me, but every now and then I drink one of these protein shakes that's supposed to give me big muscles. Six months ago I bought several large boxes of pre-packaged drinks and try to use them before or after lifting some weights. So in this time time period I've probably put on 25lbs...and not exactly the good kind.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed so it's just dawned on me...maybe I need to rethink the whole protein drink. No matter what anyone tells you...any sort of health drink is gonna taste funny. If a friend says, "oh, I have this great shake I make with wheat grass and whey and it is so delicious and gives you tons of energy." they are either 1. lying 2. putting heroin in their shake 3. have recently had a catastrophic tongue accident. Every "health" drink is going to have a strange texture, and a wicked aftertaste. That is why you'll notice instructions on the side of these drinks that say something like "shake severely to avoid identifying ingredients" and "serve to the nearest point of freezing to avoid taste".

Now I'm thinking that if protein drinks are already chunky and are going to make me fat anyway, I would propose manufacturers start putting in things like cubed ham, and bacon bits. Maybe even a southwestern shake with spicy shredded beef and tomato juice. I'm no marketing genius but just writing these ideas down is making me salivate so it's obviously a great idea.

So the point my friends to this pointless blog is to beware of advertising and fads. Even if a product says it is guaranteed to improve your "length and girth" it may just make your ankles swell and more difficult to put your shoes on.