Anyone else ready for this year to be over? It's not that it didn't have any redeeming qualities, but just like our lame duck, 2008 does not have a high approval rating.
Some suggested resolutions to improve the year to come:
I think the media should resolve in 2009 to ignore celebrities. Celebrities are just like the monsters in our closet, if we ignore them they will go away. It really bothers me that the moment someone mentions Brittany or Angelina that everyone immediately knows who they are talking about. There are lots of very cool people with those names - it's really not fair to hyper-focus on just those two people exclusively. My vote is we take the most popular celebrity first names and find random people with these same names and the papparazi can follow these new people for a week and make a huge deal out of everything they do. Then the next week a new round of different people. It will make it more fun for everyone.
I'd suggest the oil companies make a resolution to stop jerking us around. Keep the gas low and stop making up excuses why it would go up 250%. Every time I drive out of the house it feels like I'm playing "Deal or No Deal". "Give me low numbers at the tank!" I scream. It would be awesome to see those low numbers continue to plummet and hold...and it would be even better if there were really hot models sliding away covers that revealed the gas prices as we drove by stations.
A resolution for our world and local leaders - make decisions to better the lives and economic status of your citizens. We know you have complicated problems and tough decisions ahead of you. We support you, so please support us by being level-headed, cooperative regardless of party affiliation, thinking way ahead into the future, and being wise stewards of the things we've entrusted you with.
Another resolution for all of us - let's live within our means, save wisely, spend wisely, work hard, be wise stewards of our planet, and help those around us who are struggling so everyone of us can enjoy prosperity!
Like a runner misses a sprained ankle, or a claustrophobic misses his airplane seat, we'll miss you 2008. 2009, I've heard so much about you and can't wait to meet you!
Sincerely,
DR Lowder
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2 comments:
Whenever somebody mentions Madonna, I like to say "Madonna who?" That, or I ask them about Renaissance art.
I love your idea of just following around somebody with a "celebrity name". Just find a woman named Brittany and hide in the bushes to get a Polaroid of her eating... RSS feeds on the name and profession of her boyfriend... and endless discussion of whether she is getting fat or if she is careless with her children...
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