Chapstick & Dryers Do Not Mix

If I had a dime for every time a tube of chapstick ended up in the dryer, I still wouldn't have nearly enough money to reimburse me for all the clothes it's ruined. Actually come to think of it, I do have a dime for every time that happened...they were also in my pockets when I did the wash and they rattle around in the dryer taunting me and daring me to try to find them. Then when I open the dryer because I can't stand it anymore, they suddenly disappear. Disappear that is until I pull the clothes out of the dryer and then all "hidden" spare change sudden projectiles itself into an airvent or an otherwise impossible crevasse. No wonder I'm always getting advertisements on inexpensive airvent cleanings...they probably clean up when it comes to the tips!

Back to our chapstick clothes. Now that I've surveyed the damage I inevitably tell myself, "It's not that bad...I'll just wear it". The problem is 1.My loose standards for acceptable clothing. 2. I'm usually not pulling laundry out right as the sun comes up so looking at it under the fluorescent lights of the laundry room is not quite the same as viewing it in daylight. The other problem is that after I've put the clothes on, I'm not going to see the toast-shaped blot right on my behind. How disappointing to come home later that evening and find out all those women were not actually checking me out.

So now some practical tips to help you avoid the mistakes I've made. #1 Wash your clothes on cold...it saves energy and chapstick won't melt...yet. Once or twice I caught that tricky tube before it maneuvered it's way into the melting machine. #2 Don't put chapstick in your pockets. Keep it in a drawer, or a bag and never slip it into a shirt or pants pocket. This is what I try to do but it never works...at some point it always leaps into a pocket. #3 Pat your clothes down like a cop at a Snoop Dog concert before ever letting them get near a laundry machine. Finally what I'm going to resort to since 1-3 have all failed me....#4 Just lick your lips.